BWG Christmas Lunch

Let’s eat, drink and be merry

Yes folks, I am turning into a lady that lunches (Stop laughing at the thought of me being a lady!!). The Christmas lunch was actually held at the Sukhothai Hotel over in South Sathorn (I've put a link into a virtual tour http://www.sukhothaivirtual.com/Vtour/vtour1.htm - hope it works ok.) Someone somewhere had the brilliant idea of getting vendors to attend and telling everyone to come early for some Champagne and shopping (Very civilized – nothing like Sauchiehall Street in the run up to Christmas). Actually it was just as well there was plenty of Champagne doing the rounds - there was a group of us singing Christmas Carols after lunch…….not sure if the champagne was needed to give us dutch courage or to get everyone else so plastered they didn't notice how bad the singing was!! Julie, the President of the BWG, had arranged for kids from the local school to sing before lunch (How the hell were we supposed to follow that....). A few glasses of Champagne later Jenny, Debbie and I (Elyssa had sensibly declined to take part in the singing) decided we didn't care and that we would sing our little hearts out. (God help everyone!!)

(Just so you know - from left to right Jenny, Elyssa, Me, Debbie - you can now put faces to the names :-))

Lunch was great – really tasty (Turkey, roast potatoes, cranberry sauce – the usual Christmas fare) and our singing didn’t make anyone’s ears bleed (Although when the music was cranked up I thought mine might……my brain definitely leaked out my ear and hid in a corner as Slade’s ‘Merry Christmas Everyone’ was played for the 3rd time). Debbie and I skillfully managed to dodge the conga line – we pretended to be deep in conversation then got the giggles when we realised that the line was massive and was going to take ages to get passed us. We then had the trauma of having to go and sit on Santa’s knee to get our present and our photograph taken. (This is fine when you are three – not when you are thirty-one). We went en mass…..I was one of the lucky ones….managed to stand behind him (Poor Elyssa was not so lucky although she had avoided the public humiliation of singing so it was only fair that she had to endure sitting on Santa’s knee).

Oh and then we met the most vile woman I have ever encountered!! Her opening gambit was ‘I don’t normally associate with people like you because I have money’ (Can you believe it!! How to win friends and influence people in one easy lesson!!)

She then had a conversation with me which went something like this;

‘You’ll know what this song is since your Australian’
‘I’m not Australian I’m Scottish’
‘You’ll know what this song is since your Scottish’ (ehh??)
‘Why…..is it ‘Scotland the Brave’?’
‘No’
‘Then why would I know it because I’m Scottish?’
She then came over….sat on my knee…..slapped me repeatedly on the forehead and said ‘Does this jog your memory?’ (Yeah…….you can imagine how impressed I was…..)

She then went on to tell us that she didn’t like the fact that her children spoke more Thai than English (Hmmm…..well that will happen when you pap them off to a Thai Nanny and don’t spend any time with them!!) and that she was so used to being a bitch to her Thai staff that she couldn’t switch it off (She really was a charmer). Actually, she was so awful that all Elyssa and I could do on the way home in the taxi was laugh at how bad she had been.